The Crime Scene

As many of you know, I, along with my better-half, Teri, make and sell full color plaques (Pics2Plaques.com). So, how does this fact figure in to this story? Well, I'll tell you. 

As a retired police officer of thirty-three years, I came up with this plaque business, for two purposes. One, was to keep myself active, while the primary purpose was to keep myself out of trouble with Teri. It does keep me active.

When we first started the plaque business, in 2016, we did so by making plaques of police badges and patches, something I was intimately familiar with. Once a plaque order was completed, the customer, usually a current or former LEO, would come by the house to retrieve the plaque and that's what took place on this particular occasion.

In all fairness, the idea for what I did wasn't original. I borrowed the idea, if you will, from the well-known comedian, Tom Mabe. Thank you Tom! It worked beautifully!

Okay, now for the story.

A retired police Lieutenant and a long-time friend, had come by the house to pick up his plaque order. We were in the middle of reminiscing over old war stories when the phone rang. Caller ID showed it to be a call originating here in the US, so I answered "hello?" I was immediately met with "this isn't a sales call, so DON'T hang up!" Honestly, I was surprised the caller was speaking English. Otherwise, I'm not at all certain as to how this would have ended.

I tell my buddy/client what I may try and he says "go for it." I answer and put the caller on speakerphone. Without hesitation, the caller goes into his spiel. I give him just enough time to be "vested" in the call, when I look at my buddy and in my best "official voice" clearly state "Sergeant, make certain Crime Scene gets clear photos of the entry wound before the body is moved." My buddy, remember, is also a retired LEO, responds "yes sir, and when you get a chance Lieutenant, I think you may want to see this."

I get back on the phone and ask, "okay, I'm back, now WHO is this?" Silence. Again, "I asked a question and I expect an answer, SERGEANT, TRACE this call!!" A now, somewhat weak voice responded and said, "I think I called the wrong number." "Oh really, well, who were you calling and what number did you dial?" He replied with MY name and MY phone number!!!

I then said, in as "soothing" of a voice I could produce "well, son, I'm sorry to be the one to inform you but Mr. Cowart is no longer with us. Now, what business did you have with him? "Oh, oh, nothing, it was, I mean, really nothing, I will let you go......" "Like hell you will let me go. Now hear this. I'll tell YOU when you can go, are we clear?" "Uh, well, no, I really don't..." "Son, exactly what part of KEEP YOUR ASS ON THE PHONE did you not understand?" "Oh sir, I understood, I'm sorry, I really think I dialed the wrong number." I replied, "well get your ducks in a row Junior; now you're telling me you dialed the wrong number and a minute ago, you were giving me the CORRECT name and CORRECT phone number of the guy that's laying over here with a bullet in his head. Perhaps we can get YOU to explain THAT to the Grand Jury!"

This is me speaking again....."hello? Hello? Are you there?" Finally a dial tone came on and the call was ended. My bud and I went back to sharing "war stories." It's nice to relax with old friends every now and then.....

"Turn out the lights, the party's over."